I once had a dream too

You see me collecting all sort of empty containers plastic bottles, beer bottles ,beer cans, soft drinks and all.
Sometimes I go to peoples houses to collect them, which can be quite embarrassing for an old woman like me. I once had a dream too

I see how you look at me, not even willing to look twice in my direction, I am not worth a second of your previous time. You are not interested to know how i am doing today, did I have anything to eat, where do I stay? You just want me out of your face the soonest.

As a little girl, I once had a dream too. I saw myself getting my education, meeting my knight in the shining armor and getting married, owning a house, children, and being happy like most people.
I may have made wrong choices as a young girl. I came to a stage where I knew it all, I knew how to fool my parent in every special way just to satisfy the selfish me. I got involved in toxic friendships, sex and alcohol abuse.
Funny how we always think it gonna be somebody else, not me.
Unfortunately amongst my friends I was the one who got hooked, pregnant, ran away from home, stayed from place to place, half the time had to pay my way through sex.

I saw myself as too old to go back to school, beside the three children with different fathers, I could not keep a relationship or a job. I always saw myself as better than any of my partners, forgetting that time was passing me by. It was more like I was doing them a favour when dating them. I never saw any fault in me, never kept my mouth quiet and that got me a lot of beatings, hence all these scars on my face and body.

Now I'm + - 50 years of age, if the youth is so challenged with employment, what about me? My children are following on my footsteps as this is the only life they know, a life of shouting, swearing, calling each other names, father after father situation, always on the run from abusive drunk partners who sometime have tried sleeping with my girls. Now the girls, also like me have chosen their way, I only see them when they have blue eyes or broken arm from their boy friends. As soon as the heal and get better, they go back to them.

I gave my life away thinking I was beautiful, happening or something to die for. I did not treat life the way I wanted it to treat me back. I never took anybodies advice, most of the time I would act like I was listening when I knew in my heart that I was going to do my own thing, contrary to the advise of my parents. I have been stabbed, beaten and left to die but God said no with my life.

Today I collect cans and bottles for a living, I have accepted the outcome of the life that I chose 35 years ago. Today I see these young girls who think they are happening, they remind me of myself as a teen/ young adult, I can tell who is going to make it in their group and who is going end up as a statistic like me. They see me as well, they give me some of their empty alcohol cans, I say"thank you" and they say with an attitude" no sweat mama, come later there will be more"

I would like to come and help out, but I am not trained to speak to this generation of celebrity icons and social media. They absolutly think I was born like this. I was more beautiful than many of them. I so wish I can have an audience with them and warn them about the freeway they are taking, it has toll gates throughout, where you pay different prices and who ever pays for you, owns you. I once had a dream too, but it's not where I am today.
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Belatedly overdue

It does not mean forgotten, left behind, unimportant, does not mean unwanted

For some reason you started school late, because you had to look after cows, plant the field and get water from the river before the animals get there first,  because no one believed that you really needed school, or simply because you are a girl after all.

You got to finish school late, because you dropped out so many times to take care off things at home, things that children should not be responsible for, including having to work to put food on the table. They made you stay at home anytime they needed someone there, to look after granny, to go with her on pension days and hospital checkups

Now that you managed to finish school, even though you had to be in class with children 10years younger than you.
Due to lack of experience and proper skill, or gender discrimination you could not get a good job early enough. Your age group has long been working, some even got married, bought cars and houses.
You are a perfect example of what not to do as a human being if you want to be successful.

I once had these sayings
" Better late than never"
" Good things comes to those who wait"
" Isina muva liyabukwa"
(The one who dances last, dances the best)

Romans 8
28 And we know that in all things God(Elohim) works for the good of those who love the him, who have been called according to his purpose.

You have ,finally made it against all odds.
You may be amongst the last to cross the finish line or get a job from your peers, family and friends.
Funny how a lot of them have nothing to show for all the years of their hard work.
Your peers married long before you, and you had to learn from the challenges they went through.
You may be the one getting retrenched all the time you get a good job, but you have this bounce back spirit that no one can understand and explain.

Ecclesiastes 9
11. I have seen something else under the sun:
The race is not to the swift
or the battle to the strong,
nor does food come to the wise
or wealth to the brilliant
or favor to the learned;
but time and chance happen to them all.

When your finishing is strong, the humble and tough beginnings do not count anymore.

Isaiah 43
18 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
19. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
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Bring up a child

Proverbs 22
6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

It's a God given duty for every parent/ guardian to train, educate, bring up a child in the ways of the Lord, in a way that even when they are off age they should continue in that discipline and guidance.
Parents does not have children, we are just legal guardians trusted by God to do the right thing and meet God's expectations.
Hence Jesus(Yeshua) taught us all to pray and say" Our father" none of us pray and say" Our father's father" even as children when we pray.

When a parent is not or did not get a good training him/ herself, how can he/ she gives good guidance?
As parents we need to invest in ourselves in Godly education so that we can give sober and nutritious wisdom to our children. Joshua1:8,9.
They might hate you for the truth, but they will love and cherish you well their eyes get opened.
They did not vote you in as their parent, and don't need their buy inn to be their parent.
Democratic parenting has brought nothing but chaos, it's time we go back to our roles as parents.

Children are not guaranteed to turn out good all the time, but our words becomes a permanent reflection in their lives for ever. One will always battle with a friends advise and suggestion or a parent's words of wisdom. Any choice you make as a child, you are solely responsible of the outcome and you have to live with it for the rest of your life, be it Good or Worse.
Knowing the right thing to do and yet choosing the opposite bring a life long condemnation and guilt to your life, it may lead to stress and anxiety, suicide.
Never miss an opportunity to speak life to your children life, you are empowering him/ her to make a sober decision everytime she/ he is between the devil and the deep sea.
My duty is to bring up, train, educate and guide, your duty is to learn.
qbmthethwa2.blogspot.co.za

We are what we spend our time on

Focus on something good and you will reflect it's goodness. A lot of people are convinced that the sea water is blue, which is not true. The sky is big enough that what ever is in it, the sea waters reflect it.
When the weather is overcast they say the sea is angry, when it's just the reflection of the clouds.

What are we focusing ourselves on? mind you people can tell about you before we get a chance to speak for yourself.
Just like when they say "deep blue sea"
Like a reflection on a mirror, I can never see somebody else when it's only me standing before it.

When we spend our time focusing on the word of God, sooner or later we reflect him(Yah Weh)
When we spend time talking about the Gospel, we soon reflect Jesus(Yeshua). JOSHUA1:8,9

People who spend time focusing on their challenges, sometimes you dont have to ask them because it is written all over their faces.
I mean you dont have to ask some people if they take alcohol or not, they have become what they spend their money and time on. Matt6:21
Focus on your studies, you will reflect success and progress.
Focus on getting a job, you will always look like you are working already.
Focus on your business, for you will attract and close more deals.
Focus on your spouse and have a healthy happy marriage.

Even in my lack and need, I will always reflect hope, love, patience and peace because those are the qualities of God(Yah Weh)
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